This weekend sure wasn’t what I had expected it to be.

Nothing in this world worth having comes easy.

Relationships require work from both people. Each person should have their own life, but it’s important to remember that a part of those two lives should intertwine. Spend time together. Pay attention to that person. I had a pretty huge argument this weekend about this. I told the fiance that it’s fine if we’re doing our own things during the week, but I need at least one day that we can spend together. He didn’t realize that all the activities I try to come up with each week is my way of reaching out to him and our relationship. And aside from that, there were things we really needed to discuss and solve. Not everything was resolved, but we talked it out. Today was a good step in the right direction. We actually went hiking! And I must say, it was even more awesome than I had expected! =)

Yup, nothing in this world worth having comes easy. Hiking to a beautiful view, trying to make it work with someone you love, graduating, getting the job you want, raising kids.. NOTHING. But that just makes those things all the more gratifying.

I wonder if you still remember the first time we met.

That’s us in the picture below (you just wouldn’t take a picture without your hood on lol). It was RAPS Hooters night. I was really shy because it was only my second or third RAPS meeting and I still didn’t really know anyone. You were shy too, but we still ended up talking the entire time at Hooters. I was really glad I met you that night. You were my first RAPS friend.

The one thing that will always remind me of you is how you would never let me walk on the outside of the sidewalk. I noticed that you would always switch positions with me if I were walking on the curb side of the sidewalk. After the third time you switched positions with me while we were walking around Busch, I asked you why you kept doing that. And you replied by saying that a lady should always be walking on the inside of the sidewalk. You are the first and only guy that’s ever done that. (And if that wasn’t enough to make me melt, I remember how good you were whenever you’d play the piano in your dorm’s lounge!)

Thanks for being the first gentleman I had ever met. And for being my first friend in RAPS. The picture below is from Barrio Fiesta our freshman year. I was surprised you let me take your picture for the program considering how our first picture together turned out!

A lot of people miss you
Hope you’re smiling down above us

I decided that I would go to mass today with or without the fiance. And I’m glad that I went, even if I was alone.

The priest had me really thinking and listening. And it wasn’t because during the homily, he was great at keeping my attention by referencing Van Wilder. He was able to interpret the readings into something I could understand and apply to my life.

Lately, I’ve been finding myself in a “go with the flow” attitude. When I can’t decide, I just take my time. I figure that eventually I’ll realize what to do or where to go. But what I never really thought about is that time never stops. No matter what, I’m still taking steps until I figure out what my next step is. 

The priest ended his homily by saying, “so let it count.” If you are constantly taking steps and every step affects your last one, make it count. One day you’ll see the big picture.

It really made me think because I need to start making it count. And I need to start by reminding myself to be true to who I am. Relationships shouldn’t change the important things in a person, especially if it’s what defines you. And my beliefs are important to me.

I believe in..

My faith. I was lucky enough to have grown up with an open-minded church. Then, when I went to college I had a just as open-minded and loving church to attend as well. I go to church not because I’m forced to or because or ritual. It’s a part of me.

Staying healthy. I can’t accomplish my aspirations if I’m not treating my body right. And despite all of my allergies, I’m blessed to get up everyday and be able to do the things that I love to do. Eating right and conditioning my body is the only way to keep that blessing going.

A strong mind. I always complain about stuDYING. But in reality, I love learning and I’ll probably be in school forever.

Soulmates. I think that for the most part, there’s someone made for you. It might be a companion or a lover. You might not marry that person, or you may not even cross paths with them once. But somewhere out there, someone fits you perfectly. And if you’re lucky enough to meet them, you’ll feel an extraordinary passion and you’ll know that you’d be the best together.

I guess I’m back at zero again. I don’t mind though. Tomorrow will be a new chance to make it count. 

After only 5 hours of sleep, I was 40 minutes late to my half-marathon. When I got to the starting line, I felt like it wasn’t worth it to even try and catch up. There was no one remotely near the start, except for me. Still, I gave it a shot. I ran three miles of tiring inclines to the best that I could. I was about to give up. It really felt impossible to finish within the time limits being so far behind everyone else. Luckily, I got a big dose of motivation to just keep going. So I ran. At each drinking station, I would ask how long ago it was since the last runner passed by. The first station I passed said 20 minutes. I ran a bit faster. The second station said 10 minutes. I began running even faster. Then, at the third station they said that the last runner was there just 2 seconds ago! I chugged my Gatorade and bolted. Within a few minutes I had caught up to the last runner. I passed her. I kept running. I passed by another runner. I kept running at a good and steady pace. Eventually, I was passing by more and more runners. I was no longer last!

I ended the half-marathon at a little over 2.5 hours!

I really couldn’t have done it without the motivation I was given and all of the support that I had. And when I needed it, I’d tell myself.. Don’t suck, just do it!

This whole week felt like hell. I got my first real taste of balancing three projects at work, class and personal responsibilities. And aside from that, I’ve been feeling pretty down. I really wanted to give up because I felt like I couldn’t. Surprisingly, I endured. I worked over 50 hours this week, finished my half-marathon, completed my labs, submitted my homework on time and scored a 90 on my quiz.

I’m still feeling down, but I feel like I can endure. Things will look better eventually. I just need to keep going forward.

I was really nervous today. Although it was the seond time I presented to the company, I just felt more pressure. Since the last time I presented, we had acquired many PhDs with great experience in my field. I felt incredibly intimidated, especially since my new boss was right at the front.

I’m not sure if anyone could tell, but I was just about to die midway through my slides. And at the end, I got a lot of questions. This made me really feel like I did a terrible job.

Even though I got really good feedback from almost everyone, I’m sure I looked stupid to a few people in the room. But I’m okay with that. My old boss said I did excellent, and he’s the only real person who I felt could validate my performance. And I felt even better when one of the new PhDs told me he was impressed with my ability to get the kind of data I gotten from previous experiments. This guy is pretty up there in the industry too!

Anyways, I’ve at work for 12 hours already and I need to come in tomorrow as well. I am exhausted! Plus, all I had today was a cup of tea and a cup of coffee. I need to eat something. Having three projects is working me to the bone! Alright, lab coat off and blazer on. Finally time to go home! =)

Now I just need to..

• Complete my reading assignments (tonight)
• Complete my lab experiment (tonight)
• Complete my homework (tonight)
• Complete my quiz (tonight)
• Finish new test desgins for two projects (tomorrow)
• Drive to MA (tomorrow)
• Run half-marathon (Sunday)

Once Sunday has passed, I will feel very accomplished and deserving of the trip to Hawaii.